Kids Will Make You Curse
Raising kids comes with challenges, joys, and plenty of surprises. In this peek of his upcoming book, Kids Will Make You Curse, Rudy shares some personal thoughts — what he's learned, what he’s still figuring out, and the moments that have shaped his approach to parenting. It’s an honest, down-to-earth look at the ups and downs of raising kids, with practical wisdom and a touch of humor along the way.
Writing a book often suggests expertise or mastery of a subject. But when it comes to raising kids, that idea is laughable. Over the years, plenty of experts have weighed in on parenting, only to later confess their missteps—sometimes with full-blown apologies.
I’m not writing from a place of expertise. I’m not a parenting guru. I’m not even sure I qualify as “good at it.” What I am is a survivor. Because when it comes to raising kids, you don’t get ahead of the curve—you hang on for dear life.
It doesn’t matter where you come from—whether you're educated, uneducated, rich, poor, Black, White, Asian, Indonesian, or Czechoslovakian—if you’re a parent, at some point, you will think (or say), “These kids are gonna make me curse.”
Now, while I don’t believe you can ever fully master parenting, I do believe you can prepare for it. And if I’m being honest, I know I could have done better. That’s what this one-day book—and my conversations about parenting—are about: helping us all do better.
Looking back, I realized my biggest mistake was that I forgot.
I forgot what it felt like to be a kid.
I forgot my own struggles growing up.
I forgot that, just like my kids, my biggest challenges happened during times of transition.
Think about it:
Diapers to potty training – transition.
Crib to bed – transition.
Home to daycare – transition.
Elementary to middle school – transition.
I missed it. I didn’t expect change. I didn’t anticipate transitions. And that’s where a lot of the chaos came from. Had I understood transitions better, I could have prepared for the challenges that came with them.
It’s like being on a plane. When the oxygen masks drop, it doesn’t fix the turbulence. It doesn’t make the problem go away. But man, does it help to see it coming.
1 — The Wheel
A friend named George once introduced me to "The Wheel."
At the time, I was struggling at work—and worse, I had no idea I was struggling. George stepped in to have “the talk” with me. To be clear, George was not someone I liked or trusted for advice. But for some reason, that day, I just listened.
He asked me:
"Where are you?"
Confused, I looked around. “Uh… I’m here?”
George shook his head. "No. Where are you living your life?"
Still nothing.
Frustrated, he broke it down:
Life happens at the 6 o’clock position. That’s where the real stuff is—where challenges hit, where decisions get made, where the action is.
But I was living at 9 o’clock. At 9 o’clock, I wasn’t reacting. I was just experiencing what life threw at me—talking about it, complaining about it, but never acting on it.
It hit me. Parenting is a lot like that. If you’re always reacting to life instead of anticipating it, you’re constantly playing defense.
2 — The Plan
I could just tell you my stories—the wins, the losses, the chaotic, ridiculous, laugh-so-you-don’t-cry moments. But instead, I want to go deeper.
I’ll share my stories.
I’ll highlight the situations and transitions that made the difference.
And then, I’ll have an expert be the adult in the room, to share a perspective that will help us understand what’s happening and how we might handle it better.
Because at the end of the day, none of us have it all figured out. But if we can learn from each other, maybe we can do better together.
3 — Lessons Learned: The Power of Anticipation
Transitions aren’t the problem—being unprepared for them is. Instead of reacting in the moment, try to anticipate the big changes ahead.
For toddlers: Talk about potty training before it happens. Make it exciting, not stressful.
For school-age kids: Walk them through what middle school will be like before they start. Normalize the nerves.
For teenagers: Start discussing independence early so when they start pushing for it, you’re ready, not surprised.
For college-age kids and young adults: Start talking about real-world skills—budgeting, time management, and self-sufficiency—before they need them. Teach them how to handle money, advocate for themselves, and navigate responsibilities so they don’t hit adulthood in survival mode.
Life happens at 6 o’clock. The more you prepare for it, the better chance you have when you meet it head-on.
From Kids Will Make You Curse. Copyright © 2025, Fenner Productions LLC. All rights reserved.