Saying “Yes” to You
“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous.” Adapted from a quote by Diane von Furstenberg, “Sex And The City” fans might remember that Carrie Bradshaw said this in the last line of that iconic series.
Before we dive in though, I want to make sure that this beautiful quote isn’t meant to diminish or replace a faith-based relationship in terms of its importance. For me personally, my spiritual connection is the foundation of everything else. What we’re speaking about here is something different – something that’s deeply human. It’s about the way we care for, see, and understand ourselves in this life we’re walking through.
That relationship—the one you have with you—is the anchor for every other connection you make. It’s how you teach others to treat you. It’s the filter through which you interpret love, conflict, growth, and grace. When you know who you are, you don’t just live life, you live in it fully.
Knowing yourself isn’t just about your favorite color or what you like to watch on a Friday night. It’s about peeling back the layers, gently and without judgment. It’s asking: What do I value most deeply? What brings me peace? What patterns do I keep repeating, and why? What am I afraid of – and what might happen if I faced it? What are my options?
And this isn’t a one-time exercise. Self-knowledge is a lifelong conversation, not a one-and-done quiz. Who you are or were at 30 is not who you are or will be at 50 or 60. Life keeps offering us new chapters, and with each one, we’re invited to learn ourselves again – with more patience, more wisdom, and more curiosity.
As we grow older, we often gain the courage to look inward without flinching. We become better at recognizing our needs and honoring them. We start asking new questions: What am I still carrying that no longer serves me? Where have I made myself small? Where can I expand with joy, freedom, and authenticity?
And here’s where it gets powerful: learning to say “no” becomes one of the most loving things we can do. No to overcommitment. No, to guilt. No to relationships or roles that drain the light from our eyes. But really, that “no” is a bigger “yes.” Yes, to rest. Yes, to peace. Yes, to possibility. Yes, to you. Saying no isn’t closing the door – it’s opening the one that is right for you.
So let’s begin this conversation together—with honesty, with compassion, and with the understanding that every great relationship starts at home. Inside. With the one person you will walk this entire life with: yourself.
XO,
Robin